Here you will find a guide on how to resolve civil conflicts that occur within your town. Unfortunately, staff are not trained councillors. We cannot properly assist you as an external figure when conflicts or arguments arise between your town mates. Civil matters should be resolved between the participants only.

1. Identify the problem. Sometimes, it can be tricky to understand the problem at hand if there is lots of differing opinions being thrown into the mix. Attempt to narrow down what caused the situation to occur in the first place. What triggered it/started it and who was involved?

2. Take it in turns. Let each other speak. Do not interrupt each other and approach the conversation with an open mind. Really listen and try to understand the other people who are talking and always remain respectful and calm. If you are confused or unsure about a statement the other member has said, wait until they have finished talking and ask collected questions about it.

3. Find a common ground. Is there something you can all agree on? It can be as simple as 'I just want there to be peace in the town and I don't want to argue.' A common ground is a good point to go off of. Figure out steps together how you can reach your common ground and resolution.

4. Compromise. This is really important. Not everyone during a conflict can get 100% of what they want. Find a neutral medium. Maybe you can agree on parts of each others thoughts and combine them to find this medium. Be empathetic towards each others wants/needs - just because it may not be important to you, it may be important to them.

5. Take breaks if you need them. Take a break and make a no conflict discussion rule once the break has begun. Ask the other parties involved if they're alright, encourage them to take a stretch break, get some air, a snack, water etc. So all parties can come back with a clear mind. Support one another!

6. Set boundaries going forward. If you have successfully identified the problem and reached a compromise/conclusion, this may be a good time to figure out what boundaries were crossed and set them in place and make them known. Boundaries are important for happy and positive discussions!

7. Thank each other. Thank one another for hearing each other out. You did something really mature here! Thank you for caring for one another and taking the time to do this to ensure the space remains positive for others!

What if we cannot find common ground?

Finding common ground can be hard. But, there always will be one. Even if it's something small or not so obvious. Here is an example list of common ground that may be present during conflicts that you can read through. Maybe one applies to you!

1. There was a misunderstanding. Tone, words or actions have been misunderstood and made the situation blow out of proportion.

2. We want the server and town to be a positive space and we don't want to argue anymore.

3. We both want communication to be stronger and better.

4. We both want to preserve our friendships within the town.

5. We both want to forgive and move on - we don't want to talk about it anymore.

6. We want to find a compromise.

7. We don't want there to be any tension anymore.

8. Our fight is causing unhappiness between our friends and we just want them to be happy, so we should stop.

Tips for friends watching on the sidelines?

1. Create and maintain a safe space. Give the parties involved a quiet space to discuss the situation. Perhaps a private group chat away from other members so that outside perspectives cannot attempt to get involved and 'stir the pot'.

2. Remain neutral where possible. Keep the peace and stop arguments from arising during a calm and structured conversation.

3. Listen carefully to everyone's points. Don't take a side or provide opinions on the matters. Remain impartial and constantly reassure all parties they are heard and their opinions are important.

4. If the parties involved are struggling to find common ground or things they agree on, attempt to provide examples. Remind them what they are here for and what the end goal is.

5. Focus on the issue at hand. Try not to let the conversation drift off into upset or personal attacks. Steer members back into the right direction.

6. Encourage the parties involved to compromise and be flexible. Remind them of their common ground that they agreed upon together earlier and how this is important to keep at the forefront of the discussion.

7. Keep all the conversations that happen between these members private and between only the parties involved. It's nobody else's business and just causes drama! There's no need for anyone else to know!

8. Offer support throughout. Remind the parties present that breaks are important. If you notice a conversation becoming hostile, recommend a pause to take a breathe and compose yourself and their energies again.

9. Thank each other when the conversation has concluded. Make it clear how important this discussion is for the server and their friends that are residents within the town to maintain the happy space.

10. Check in at a later date once the conversation has been concluded for a while. Check in on your friends! 'Hey! How's things going? Just wanted to check in on you!'

Do you have anymore additional resources to help?

1. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/conflict-resolution-skills.htm

2. https://blog.hubspot.com/service/conflict-resolution-skills

Can server staff step in?

Server staff are not trained professionals nor licensed councilors. We cannot help you as much as you think we can. It's important to sort out your issues between you.

We will step in and help out if members are breaking the SMP rules or the Global Town Rules. These situations are often unique and difficult to approach as an outsider who does not know you or know of your situation personally. So please be patient and bare with us. It is not easy! But we will try our best.

Know that even though we cannot get involved, we do care. That's why we have taken the time to put together this guide for you!